Thursday, October 07, 2004

Book quotes

So today was my teaching day. For those who don't know, even though I'm sure my man is the only one reading this, I'm taking an independent study with a professor. So, for part of it I taught her her class for the day. I was kinda nervous at first since I didn't practice what I was going to say that much. It went pretty well though. I think I talked too fast a bit and should have bridged a few things because when you have read things a lot you forget it may be a bit confusing for someone else. But anyways, I talked for a little bit, showed a movie for 30min an then talked a little more. The whole thing was an hour. They clapped at the end an my prof said it went well. After me another lady came in for the last ten minutes of class to talk about her work. She actually does what she talked about for a living so she was more passionate about it and didn't rely on notes. I think the class liked her presentation better, but oh well. I did my part and Ill get my credits.

On to the book quotes thing. I got one of the books I ordered from amazon in the mail today - The Interfaith Family Guidebook. I wouldn't let myself look at it till after I had taught today so I have spent the rest of the afternoon reading parts of it an writing down page numbers of quotes and things that I think are important and want to share with my man. Since I know he doesn't want to get a million emails from me I'm going to post the things from the book that I think are important or thought provoking for you to read here an then if you want you can leave a comment, send me an email or we can talk about it the next time we are online together. This also helps me to have somewhere where I have kept all the things that I thought were important. So as I read this book and the next one that should be arriving soon I will post about them here. So here we go.

  • In 1995 the UAHC - Union of American Hebrew Congregationists, the governing body of Reformed Judiasm passed a resolution urging that Reformed Jewsish day schools and part-time school programs enroll only children not being schooled in another faith. pg 10. *Not all Reformed congregations follow this, but a lot do. It just may be hard to find one that does allow it.*
  • Jewish and Christian partners alike must eventually face one of the most critical questions for an interfaith couple: How does each partner view Jesus? The answer to this question will figure heavily in the degree of compatability the couple enjoys and perhaps even to the success or failure of their relationship. For Christians he is the foundation of their faith. For Jews, he symbolizes centuries of percecution and marginalization. pg. 22
  • Christains who plan to spend the rest of their lives with a Jew must be able to reconcile their own religious beliefs in Jesus with their emotional commitment to a partner who does not worship Jesus as Lord. pg. 22+23
  • Partners in an interfaith relationship need to be aware that the majority of the Jewish community is quite defensive about Jesus. Most Jews probably would view with suspicion any individual Jew who is in any way interested about Jesus. So ingrained is Judiasm's silence about Jesus, that a Jew who expresses admiration of his life might be viewed as a heretic. pg 25
  • The most important aspect of Jesus for us is his example - the parables he told and the values he espoused. I know that we will talk about Jesus to katie. I don't want to pretend he did not exist or deny my belief in him. But my Christian belief has evolved to focus on the way Jesus lived his life, rather than the concern about his ressurection and our salvation. The words and actions of Jesus are a model for our ethical behavior. pg. 25
  • If you can not find a source for premarital counseling on your own call the American Association of Pastoral Counselors pg 30
  • Wedding Ceremony Questions: What do you want to communicate in your wedding ceremony about your relationship? Do you want a formal or informal ceremony? Religious or secular? If religious, what does that mean to each of you: a specific denomination 's ceremonal structure? non-denominational? spiritual without the mention of god? How important is it to have a representative from each of your religions present at the ceremony? Participating in some way? Leading the ceremony? Why? What traditions do you want to include? How does the Christian partner feel about having hebrew in the ceremony? How does the Jewish partner feel about having Jesus mentioned in the ceremony? How will each of your families participate?
  • From the Christian community by at large, you will receieve a positive response to asking a minister to officiate
  • One important point for you and your partner to clarify before looking for a rabbi is this: Do you both want a Jewish and a Christian officiant at your wedding or would you be satisfied with a rabbi as your soul officiant? This question is important for you to answer because only a few rabbi's will co-officiate with a Christian clergyperson. More rabbis will officiate on their own at a "Jewish-style" interfaith wedding - with a wedding canopy and hebrew blessings, but the marriage contract is a civil one - but only if you promise to raise your children as Jews.
  • If after reading this (including other parts I didn't type) you feel very commited to having a Jewish presence at your wedding, ask yourselves why. Do you feel the need to demonstrate your ongoing commitment to Judiasm to the Jewish side of the family? Do you feel the need to balance the ceremony with the chrisian side/blessings? Do you feel drawn to the Jewish wedding traditions? Some of these reasons can be satisfied without a rabbi as a co-officiant. Perhaps you could ask your local rabbi not for his presence at the ceremony but for help in writing the Jewish side of the ceremony. You can include Jewish traditions without having the officiant there. In some areas you may be able to find a Jewish justice of the peace to preform your ceremony. pg. 35. *side note - I want a jewish side to the wedding even if it has to be in the form of a justice of the peace*
  • No matter what your plan for religous education, your sucess depends on how much you believe in, and follow though, what your doing. pg 72
  • Whether you raise your child in one religion, two religions, or no religion has no impact on their mental health. pg 72
  • At their respective ages of 8 and 6, they are more interested in concrete examples of their parents care and attention then the details of theological arguements. pg. 96
  • Early in her sixth grade year we told Jenny that she would have to make a decision after christmas as to which religion she would call her own. pg. 87 *This seems early but its when a child gets bar/bat mizvahed which is a choice so I guess they would have to make a decision by then.*
  • Alternatives: Humanistic Judiasm, A Church without Walls - Unitarian Universalist Church *I don't know much about either of them*
  • No one approach is right for every family, and there are no easy answers. A couple who works hard to communicate honestly and searches deeply will come up with its own right answers.
  • The chapter on religious education seemed to say that you should do what's right for your family, but that its easier to pick one religion and bring your children up in that, but that also there are families that are bringing up their children successfully with both religions. I want to read it again though before I commit to exacly what it says just incase I missed something.
I know that was a lot. Sorry about that. We don't have to talk about it all at once. Im sure we wouldn't even be able too. Those are just the parts I read. The one thing about this book is that it has different people's differing views on each subject so you have to figure out which is what is really happening and which is just someones view. Its hard when your watching tv and reading at the same time ;)

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